Yes, that’s me in a Mickey shirt. I’m not here to tell you to give up your fandom shirts. I’m here to tell you that how a shirt fits matters more than what’s on it.

Most of the men I work with don’t have a style problem. They have a fit problem. A shirt that’s a size too big makes you look shorter, wider, and less put together, and the camera exaggerates all of it. The good news is that fit is a solvable engineering problem.

Fix 1: The shoulder seam

This is the single most useful thing to check. The seam where the sleeve meets the body should sit right at the edge of your shoulder bone. If it’s hanging down toward your bicep, the shirt is too big, no matter what the tag says.

Too-big shoulders make you look slumped in photos. Getting this one right makes you look taller and more confident without changing anything else.

Fix 2: Length

An untucked shirt should end around the middle of your zipper. Longer than that and it starts to look like a nightshirt. It also cuts your legs short in full-length photos, which is exactly the kind of photo you want on your profile.

If you’re wearing a shirt that’s meant to be tucked in, tuck it in. Half-tucked by accident is not the same as half-tucked on purpose.

Fix 3: Solid colors near your face

Busy patterns, big logos, and very bright colors pull the eye away from your face. Solid, medium-to-dark colors (navy, olive, charcoal, burgundy, a soft blue) frame your face instead of competing with it.

This is where I’ll admit the Mickey shirt bends my own rule. One graphic tee in a hobby or fandom photo is fine, because it’s telling a story. But your lead photo should be something solid that fits well.

A quick pre-shoot checklist

• Shoulder seams at the edge of your shoulders.
• Hem around mid-zipper if untucked.
• No wrinkles. A five-minute steam or iron shows up on camera.
• Solid color for your lead photo, saving graphics for one hobby shot.
• Check the collar. A stretched-out collar ages a shirt fast.

You probably already own the right shirt

Before you buy anything, go through your closet and try on your shirts with these three checks. Most guys find one or two that already work. If you don’t, one well-fitting solid shirt is the cheapest upgrade you can make to your profile.

Want a second set of eyes?

Style and fit is mistake #3 in our free guide. Get “The 5 Profile Photo Mistakes Sabotaging Your Matches” to see all five.

And if you’d rather have someone go through your actual profile, that’s what our Profile Audit is for: $149, back to you in 48 hours, with a video walkthrough, a keep/cut list for your photos, and three prompt rewrites.

Here’s a photo of me at a convention, standing next to a life-size battle droid. I love this photo. It’s also a perfect example of what I call visual friction.

Look at it the way a stranger would, on a phone screen, for about a second. There’s a droid, a crowd, tables of merch, overhead lights, banners. Somewhere in there is me. That’s the problem.

What visual friction is

Visual friction is anything that makes the viewer work to answer one question: what does this guy look like? Every bit of effort you add is a reason to keep swiping. Nobody’s being shallow here. People are busy, and a profile is scanned, not studied.

The usual suspects:

• Busy backgrounds. Crowds, clutter, signs, other people’s heads. Your eye has nowhere to land.
• Sunglasses. Your eyes are the single most important thing in a face. Covering them hides the thing people most want to see.
• Hats. One hat photo is fine if it’s genuinely you. A profile full of hats starts to look like you’re hiding something, even if you aren’t.
• Group shots. If she has to compare four faces across three photos to figure out which one you are, you’ve turned your profile into a puzzle.
• Distance plus clutter. Full-length shots are great, but not when you’re small in the frame and surrounded by noise.

The fix: one subject, one story

You don’t have to delete every fun photo. You just have to make sure you’re the obvious subject. A few rules I use:

• Lead with your face. Your first photo should be clear, well lit, eyes visible, no sunglasses, no group.
• Step toward the clean wall. If you’re shooting somewhere busy, move so the background behind you is simpler: a wall, the sky, a hedge, an empty stretch of hallway.
• Crop hard. A lot of good photos are buried inside bad ones. Crop out the strangers and let yourself fill more of the frame.
• Limit group shots to one, and never first. Make sure you’re easy to spot because you appear in your solo photos too.
• Keep the context, lose the chaos. The droid stays, because it says “this guy is a fan, ask him about it.” The crowd goes.

The one-second test

Here’s a quick check. Hand your phone to a friend, show them a photo for one second, then take it back. Ask them two questions: what did I look like, and what was I doing? If they can’t answer both, the photo has too much friction.

Do this for every photo on your profile. It takes five minutes and it’s the most honest feedback you’ll get.

Want a second set of eyes?

Visual friction is mistake #2 in our free guide. Get “The 5 Profile Photo Mistakes Sabotaging Your Matches” to see all five.

And if you’d rather have someone go through your actual profile, that’s what our Profile Audit is for: $149, back to you in 48 hours, with a video walkthrough, a keep/cut list for your photos, and three prompt rewrites.

I coach men on their dating profile photos, so it’s only fair that I show you my own before and after.

Before: the arm’s-length selfie

Holding the phone at arm’s length puts the wide front lens close to your face, which widens your nose and forehead, cuts you off at the chest, and tells her you couldn’t find anyone to take a picture of you. It’s the most common lead photo I see, and it costs matches.

After: a few steps back, full length, real setting

Same guy. The only difference is the camera moved a few steps back. Now you can see how tall I am, how I dress, and what I like doing. There’s something to start a conversation about, and my face looks the way it does in person.

“The second photo is the guy I’d actually swipe on.” — Jackie

Try it this week

• Have a friend take the shot from 6 to 8 feet away, using the back camera.
• Pick a real place: a museum, a trail, a coffee shop, anywhere you’d actually go.
• Take 20 shots and keep the one where you’re not posing.

Lone selfies are mistake #1 in our free guide. Get “The 5 Profile Photo Mistakes Sabotaging Your Matches” to see the other four.